Monthly Archives: June 2011

The Stages Of ME

Hello Friends ~

Allow your brokenness for in our brokenness we will increase the seeking of God’s will and plan in our lives.  When something in our lives becomes a constant companion such as a disease, pain, a family trial, financial stress, anything that cracks our comfort armor, we want to unload it or leave it.  This is a normal reaction.  What is the lesson?   What is God’s plan in this?  I realize the questions are normal in the flesh but they are not true surrender.  I realize this because in the questions there is no peace. At least without praise at the same time.  It is only in these difficult times or even joyful times when I am seeking HIM that clarity comes.  I am a faithful and firm believer in Christ and through the cross I know He will supply grace and mercy in times of needs.  I know He suffered so greatly and I know I am must surrender to His will.  I feel I do that but I suppose I do not.  If my prayer leads off with could you, would you I realize I am not surrendering but slipping.  In the very beginning of my book I speak of TRUST and the immense power of this word.  I comment, “I hope we can trust in times of adversity.  I most importantly hope my inner strength and faith are enough in the face of adversity.”   I falter in times of great distress but my prayer is never against my Father but I become weak and asking is prevalent.  I also just realized something the words MUST and TRUST is so close to the same.  They are only different by one letter.  I Must Surrender to Trust fully.  Difficult YES do I struggle with this at times YES.  Encouraged by friends and family I am blessed.  I find peace in the Word the stories of the bible.  I find solace in Christian music.  I thank God for His intervention in our weakness.  When the tears are shed and the pain becomes numbing there is surrender and in surrender there is peace.   So back to the beginning of this post it is normal to want to unload or leave trials and often that is not possible.  We must stay steadfast through the storm and then comes the sunshine.  Perhaps our trials are the biggest test of faith because we are under scrutiny.  Will they put down their God?  Will they leave Him behind?  NO WAY ~ I may be grumpy, I may have tears, I may be weary, but through the grace and mercy of my Lord Jesus Christ I am safe in this storm.  Thank You this is the day the Lord has made let me rejoice and be glad in it.

I challenge all of us ~ Could we all just move God up a few steps in this negative culture we are allowing? Feel free to ask me about my book ~The Stages Of ME it here  or for more information on the book The stages Of Me see the following link to business page on FB

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Posted by on June 26, 2011 in Uncategorized


Hello Friends ~ Hope is a great word ~ Trust a powerful word ~ Faith is what ties it all together

Hoping your days will be great, Trusting God is watching over all of you and Faithful that He has you in HIS GRIP

Trust and Faith in adversity ~ Help me Lord to remember the examples you have given ~ Dear God give me strength in weak moments.  Help me to hold on to your promises.  It is a bit tougher to be Christ like when in the trials, but you show me time and time again it is possible.  When I am weak in spirit, slipping, grasping ~ YOU gently push me back toward YOUR light ~ my HOPE is in YOU!

JOB ~This was his hope~ Trust God when you suffer.  Look to our Lord Jesus Christ ~ He lives and one day he will stand upon the earth and all suffering will end.

The Apostle Paul 2 Corinthians 12:7-10 7So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. 8 Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. 9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 

The Apostle Paul  (2 Corinthians 4:16-18). That is why we never give up. Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are being renewed every day. 17 For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever! 18 So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever.

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Posted by on June 24, 2011 in Uncategorized


The Stages Of ME

Hello Friends ~ So sorry for my absence I had a visit to the club med ~ This lovely nick name is what we long timers call the hospital.  I must say it was a detour the final day of a quick family trip to Philly/Gettysburg that we did not plan to take.  There are those times in life when the large medical facility in my community feels a bit like a drive thru I would like to avoid.  I know, Blah Blah Blah… No worries this is not a pity post.  This is a WOW post ~Jesus thank you for the CROSS the pure example of suffering an amazing example. I heard recently, “If God allows you to go to the furnace of suffering trust that He is in control of the thermostat.”   I suppose the meaning of this or at least my interpretation is, if an evil force tries to make claim on my life, God my Father will push away any evil trying to turn that heat up to more than I can handle.   So back to my recent few nights in the ICU.  I am sharing this as a point of admission and surrender.  In the late night as I lay in a cubicle listening to the ticking of the clock and the alarm on the maximized by/pap.  I think that alarm is ME.  I feel the scurry of the diligent critical care staff as they move my somewhat but not completely flaccid body to and fro. I am in a complete state of NO CONTROL and yet keenly aware of a staff that knows my name and cares if I make it through this next hurdle on my stage.  They have played this scene with me before they are vested in my performance and know the names of my regular scene partners.  They try to keep me comfortable as my body fails me and at the same time their hands are tied as to the use of meds to ease my comfort.  It is not that they are wanting me to suffer or struggle.  It is that they know to ease my pain may very well suppress my breathing which is already very compromised. I am sadly a regular visitor to this fine establishment due to the neuromuscular disease described in my book.  I lay there hurting tears trickling.  I feel each needle stick and various other medical interventions to keep me alive until the treatment can be delivered the next day.  The goal = to not need to mechanically ventilate and breathe for me and possibly add to the already discovered infection caused by aspiration pneumonia.  Tick Tock, Tick Tock, Tick Tock, I close my eyes to shut out the sounds, the pain.  I pray Lord please make it STOP.  When no relief comes I begin to get the feeling something else is at work turning up my thermostat.  My fever bumps higher 101.5 not a high temp to most but most serious in an immunocompromised patient.  I begin to tire in the fight as day two is underway and even with the treatment administered the break in this wave seems at bay.  It is here where I feel as if there is an evil fighting against me.  This yin and yang of existence calls you home to God and yet pushes so hard against your will I feel the breath releasing with little energy to fight.  I have those very human feelings of brokenness.  I think again WOW Jesus suffered so beautifully.  I am such a wimp in this trail ashamed at my human response after His example on the CROSS.  He never leaves me, this is not our first rodeo.  He tests my endurance, I balk and then when I firmly believe I can’t take one more second of this reality ~ it happens.  He gives me rest.  His grace is sufficient.  Dear Lord forgive my biting words in fatigue and frustration which in mere exhaustion attempts to push away those I love.  Thank you for your grace to help us all to understand the stress of this earthly flesh.  Thank you for the opportunity to once again learn how You reveal Your plan to me in even my weakest moments. To think, what was the plan Lord?  Only to find yourself in the room with a beautiful older woman on your final day in club med.  She reveals, “I am dying they say two months its in my brain and there is nothing they can do.”  When you give me the words to help her find Joy in her circumstance as she will soon join her husband she misses terribly and her own mother who recently passed.  To be able to describe the picture of her heavenly Father awaiting her with a warmth she has never known.  To be greeted by those she loved and passed before her.  To assure her those left behind will be held up by Gods mighty hands.  To then here this slightly confused women repeat the description of the beauty of heaven over and over to daily visitors.  This is so impressive as her memory is slipping daily and yet she held this image all day long.  When for a brief moment I am comforted and then allowed to give some comfort so as to pay it forward.  I just finished watching the movie MARLEY AND ME with my son.  I am in awe of my God that he allows these moments in the storms.  I am blessed by patient family a friends. Thankful for hearing the laughter of a woman who will be going home to God very soon,  Thankful for the friend that took my first walk down a very long hallway one that seems to get a little longer with every hospital visit.  Thankful to get home before my daughter leaves for a lifetime trip in ministry to you Lord.  Thankful for a man who stays at my side and tries hard to understand why at times I push away those I love hoping they may not need me as much so this fight would be a little easier.  How ridiculous to think that method would ever work with those you love.  See Lord no matter what we do You never push us away.  I watched the beautiful end of the movie tonight as the rambunctious and loving and feisty dog Marley takes her last breath. Her owner looks into the sad and tired eyes and after all the mischief, all the trouble, all the mutual respect says,”It’s okay you were a good dog Marley.” I hope one day He looks into my eyes and still be able to say YOU WERE A GREAT DOG, Kathy and you were good and faithful servant ~ Thank you for another STAGE ~ I especially like the change of scene back Home ~ Many of you have had a stage such as this recently.  Though the scene and the characters were different the trial and the storm are quite real to your reality.  It is okay I promise hold on in the gail force winds, hold on in the raging sea and trust that His Grace is sufficient. CHECK OUT THESE TWO AMAZING SONGS hope they help in your wave PEACE  \”Blessings by Laura Story\” \”Redeemer by Sanctus Real\” I challenge all of us ~ Could we all just move God up a few steps in this negative culture we are allowing? Feel free to ask me about my book ~The Stages Of ME it here  or for more information on the book The stages Of Me see the following link to business page on FB



Posted by on June 22, 2011 in Uncategorized


The Stages Of ME

The Blessings of another day I realized as awoke. How great it was to breathe in HIS joy before I even spoke.  I praise HIM on this lovely day for HIS grace is so sufficient.  I never want to take for granted each moment I am given.  I eagerly await the day I meet HIM face to face.  Apologize for my wrong doings and then I imagine HIS EMBRACE.

I challenge all of us ~ Could we all just move God up a few steps in this negative culture we are allowing? Feel free to ask me about my book ~The Stages Of ME it here  or for more information on the book The stages Of Me see the following link to business page on FB

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Posted by on June 11, 2011 in Uncategorized


The Stages Of Me

The Stages Of Me

If this sounds firm I apologize but these past few weeks have been so layered with pains, hurts, needs and stresses of so many ~ Many healing from illness or disease, brokenness, emotional pain, financial stress, loss that at times seems so overwhelming. I know many have asked or been asked to pray. Understand that when we ask for prayer it is taken with all seriousness and concern by some.

“Guard your heart with all wisdom, for it is the wellspring of life” (Proverbs)

We must have selfless trust in God always grasping to hope, for on the Rock He built his church and it is secure. God makes all things possible. Please do not joke or laugh at the possibilities of Him. For in your darkest hour YOU WILL CALL OUT TO HIM, quietly so no one might know your fear or need. He will be ever present, even when you turn your back. He will reach down and pull you from deep waters. So when the storm passes and He gives you what you need, do not discount the powers of your Heavenly Father. Give Him praise with the same robust cry as when in the valleys of your life.

I am so sad that we can honor Him on Sundays, call upon Him when in our deepest need and yet deny him in the crowds and laugh at those who quietly, gently or even at times boldly attempt to keep Him present in a daily walk. Clap your hands for Him, smile and thank Him at least once a day on your own. Try not to give into the peer pressure; of it is not cool to show your love and respect for Him in public. We ask our children to do this for us. How can we think He would want any less for us His children, some things just have to be let out of your heart and said out loud. If you need to laugh at this or judge or gossip or feel uncomfortable about this post that is okay. I know where I want to go when I leave here. I would like to see all of you there and I am very serious about that! You do not have to only love him when people are looking, you do not have to only need Him when people are not looking. Could we all just move God up a few steps in this negative culture we are allowing. I am sad to say it but our kids are doing a better job than all of us. How can we lead if not by example? Yes these are my words so if anyone needs a target have at it I am armed and ready. Feel free to ask me about my book ~The Stages Of ME it here  or for more information on the book The stages Of Me see the following link to business page on FB


Posted by on June 6, 2011 in Uncategorized

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